Embracing The Messy
My son Noah loves trains, riding on trains (big and small), playing with toy trains, and reading about trains. So when I saw this gingerbread train kit at Target I thought, “Score!”. The next thought I had was a vision of he and I having fun decorating it together. (Que the montage music!) Did I mention that my son is four years old? That is an important part of the story. He just turned four last month. His attention span and fine motor skills have reached a point that I thought he was ready to take on this kind of a project. And indeed he was ready. The question that I didn’t ask myself was, “Am I ready?”
First I read the instructions on the box then decided that it would be best if I assembled the train first as to give it a chance to dry and hopefully hold up to Noah’s decorating efforts. He wanted to watch me, but I didn’t want him to for fear of him touching the train while I was trying to piece it together. I covered the table with a table cloth and got to work. He kept sneaking in trying to watch me put it together. Looking back he thought that the project began when I got the box out, and he was right. That was a missed opportunity for him to see how to build something and to spend more time together. (Que the eye rolling.)
When I took everything out of the box I discovered that two of the biggest pieces/cookies were broken. Good news was that they were clean breaks, the bad news was it took me more time to first repair those cookies before doing the actual assembly. Once I made sure the train was structurally sound we had to wait for it to dry. This is a big ask for a four year old, to wait and look at a train and not touch it, but he managed to stay clear of it. To distract him for a while we called our family in Wisconsin on FaceTime for a visit. That worked just long enough for the train to set.
Then I made a cup of tea, well because most visions I have of cozy memory making moments include me having a cup of tea. Next I took off his shirt because I didn’t want him getting icing all over it. I told Alexa to play Christmas music. I made sure that my phone was nearby so I could take pictures and capture the memory. Ok Nicole, is it time yet for Noah to actually get his hands on some icing and candy decorations?! Yes, it was time!
Once Noah gathered some of his friends and placed them each in a chair around the table he was ready to begin. He wanted them to watch him decorate the train. (Que an awwww.) All he needed to start were his friends, the actual project materials, and his Mommy. Let me rephrase, he needed a patient Mommy who wasn’t a control freak. Hmmm…
You probably see where this is going. Yes, this was a HUGE test of my patience and for the most part I passed. After a few attempts at intervening, at which point Noah would say, “No Mommy, I do it.”, and some gasps I dropped into the moment. I saw this for what it was, HIS project. It was his train to decorate however he wanted to. He did let me help him toward the end reinforce some of the candy decorations with more icing so they would stay in place. And he asked me to add a window to the train so the conductor could see outside. (Que another awww.) We laughed, he asked me for a few hugs, I did have that nice cup of tea, and we made a fun memory. Here is his finished train and I think it is adorable, perfectly imperfect, and a great reminder to embrace the messy.
